THE TABLET
May 31, 2008

Taking Issue with Same-Sex Marriage

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Same-sex marriage is very likely to be front and center in our national political debate as a result of the recent California Supreme Court 4-to-3 decision to legalize same-sex marriage and extend to sexual orientation the same broad protections against bias previously reserved for race, gender and religion. The Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court, Ronald M. George, indicated that he saw the fight for same-sex marriage as “a civil rights case akin to the legal battle that ended laws banning interracial marriage.”

Beginning with the Stonewall riots in 1969 we have increasingly become aware of the plight of homosexuals.  In the subsequent years, we have come to learn that many of our own brothers or sisters, sons or daughters, co-workers or friends, struggle with same-sex attraction. Our familial and personal relationships with those that are homosexual challenge our religious and moral convictions.  Our love for these individuals makes it difficult for us to “take issue” with the way in which they live their lives.

Yet our love and respect for those who struggle with same-sex attraction ought not to result in a false tolerance; this would result in acceptance of sin and a denial of God’s grace to work in one’s life. As Christians, our charity requires that we support and assist those who are engaged in such a profound struggle to see that it is not in vain.  Indeed, it can be a cause of sanctification.

Beyond the pastoral concern and doctrinal reasons for our opposition to same-sex marriage is the fundamental nature of marriage.  The two constitutive elements of marriage are the procreation of the species and the corresponding mutual comfort of the husband and wife.  These are made possible because at its core marriage is indissoluble and monogamous.  In the modern era, there are many obstacles to living the married life, including the dramatic rise in the number of people living together prior to marriage and the corresponding accelerated increase in adultery.  Indeed, social scientists attribute many of our social ills to the significant number of marriages that end in divorce and increasing number of out-of-wedlock pregnancies.

The “gay marriage” movement is symptomatic of the tragic decoupling of marriage and children.  Increasingly, a vague notion of love, apart from children, is the motivation for marriage.  This is in part a consequence of the “contraceptive mentality” which has swept through the world and the Church in the last 40 years and which the late Paul VI warned against when he promulgated “Humanae Vitae.”

The lynchpin of the argument in favor of redefining marriage to include “same-sex” couples is one of fairness.  It must be noted that the State has never been interested in the regulation of affection and emotion. The State has long sought to offer special privileges to married couples only because of the essential role the institution plays in regard to social and economic stability.  Numerous sociological surveys point to the benefits of children raised in stable homes with a mother and father.  The sense of security and self confidence that a two-parent home engenders is very likely related to the complementarities of the two sexes and the result of a more complete vision of humanity.

The consequence of the California Supreme Court’s decision to legalize “same-sex marriages” will resound throughout the rest of our nation.  The Church’s opposition to a lifestyle that we consider immoral will be under attack in our institutions.  Will we face litigation for “discriminating” against individuals in our employ who are publicly living lives that we deem immoral?  Will we be forced to subsidize unions that we consider illegitimate?  These and other ramifications must now be discussed.

In the end, we must ensure that our opposition to a public policy is not interpreted as opposition to individuals.  Hateful speech has no place in the Church or in the lives of Christians.  Our advocacy for the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman must at the same time respect the profound emotions and attractions that some of our brothers and sisters wrestle with each day.  In charity we must support and encourage them to ensure they are not isolated and alone.  We must challenge them, as we do ourselves, to “put out into the deep” and avoid all sin and sinful situations, thereby allowing the power of God’s grace to work in our lives.